Thursday, May 5, 2011

Huevos Rancheros

That's what my mom has been referring to my eggs since we found out the retrieval process would be on Cinco De Mayo, which, incidentally, was today. So yeah, they're out, gracias a Dios. Aye yai yai, mis amigos!

Okay done. Had to get that out since I didn't get to partake in today's festivities by drinking margaritas and not knowing why Cinco De Mayo is a holiday. Originally, (and by originally I mean three days ago, but it feels like a month) my doc told me the retrieval process would be on Friday, which meant I would be giving myself the "trigger shot" on Wednesday, two nights prior. I was pretty nervous about the shot, because you have to mix a milliliter of water with this powder and change the needles and yadda yadda, more stuff I have no experience with (quickly learning that is no excuse for not wanting to do these things) and essentially, you get one chance at it. But I was planning on having my dad help me out, as per usual, and taking the night to go into Brooklyn to see a friend who was visiting from Australia who I hadn't seen in three years. My friend Eva, who is subletting my room in Brooklyn, had planned dinner and a movie for a few people.

As I'm about to spritz some perfume and grab my backpack, my doc calls and is all, "change of plans, inject yourself tonight at precisely 9 pm and we'll see ya Thursday!" all chipper, because all the nurses there knew how badly I wanted to be done with this. (I recently learned under normal circumstances, the process I went through takes months. We did mine in just under three weeks.) Trouble was, like I said, I was basically backpack in hand when I got that call, and determined to get into the city.

I weighed my options; I could unpack my backpack and sit around, begrudgingly waiting for 9 p.m. to show up so I could do the injection and not see my friend for who knows how many more years. Orrrrr I could pack up my water, powder mix, rubbing alcohol, gauze pads, needles, syringes and inject myself on the go, like a modern gal!

After some lip-biting, I hopped on the ol' g chat to tell Eva bout the wrench in the plan. She assured me that no matter where we were (which I calculated to be the bathroom of the Angelika Theater on West Houston), she'd help me out and give me the injection if I wussed out. So after checking 29 times that I had all my materials, off I went.

Now I know an NYC movie theater bathroom isn't the most sanitary of places to be hormone injecting, but it does make for quite a memorable location. I couldn't resist making a facebook status about it now that in general most everyone knows about the hodge. "true life: I'm going to be giving myself the injection that will trigger my egg retrieval process for thursday in the bathroom of the angelika theater at precisely 9 pm tonight. top that for Weird Shit I'm Doing Today," I wrote, to which one of my friends responded, "girl, that can't be topped." Like, it can't. Anyway.

We saw Win Win (with Paul Giamatti, who if you would've asked me before I giggled my way through this film, ruins my mood every time I see his face) and at 9:15, Eva and I bee lined to the bathroom and set up shop in the handicap stall. Being as careful as possible, I unwrapped the syringe. It comes with about a three inch needle attached to it that is used only for the mixing portion before it's changed for a much smaller, thinner one for injecting.

"Oh my God that's such a huge needle!" Eva said.
"Shhhhh!" I said, laughing with my finger to my lips. I was doing something totally legit (albeit weird,) but I didn't necessarily want everyone to think I was shooting up in the bathroom. "This one's for the mixing, then we switch before we inject," I said, drawing one mL of water into the syringe. "Does that look like one ml? Is that the right amount? Ughhh I'm so nervous I'm gonna screw it up!"
"Why don't they just mix it for you?" Eva asked.
"You have to do it right before you inject or it doesn't work or something, I dunno," I said. "Ugh that isn't the full mL." Some of the medicine was stuck in the bottom of the bottle, and I was having trouble getting it out. "Here, let me switch needles and see if that works."

The whole process took about ten minutes, and in the stress of doing it right, I forgot my intentions to A: stay calm and B: stay quiet. By the time we had finished, I didn't care who thought I was doing WHAT in that stall, but I was glad it was over and done with.

At around midnight, I got a response from my friend Daniella, who worked at the publishing house I interned at last winter into spring on my facebook wall: " holy shit i think i heard you in the bathroom. were you wearing red sandals? or was the person injecting you? holy shit." My mind flashed back to an hour before the movie, when I complimented Eva on her cute, red shoes.

A text came from Daniella: "You still have my number in yo phone?" I responded, "Were you serious about the red shoes?" Turns out she had been using the bathroom a few stalls down.
I couldn't stop laughing. "I can't fathom what you thought was going on!" I texted. She wrote back, "I thought drugs. Someone said something about a milligram, and how 'it's annoying that they don't just mix it for you,' then something about a needle. But you weren't being particularly quiet about it so I thought maybe diabetes. But then I figured that if you were an adult with diabetes you would be used to it by now and giving yourself your own insulin. I told the dude I was with about it afterwards."

We both decided it was a sign that we need to get together, and in my opinion proof that New York is the tiniest city in the world. Speaking of New York, being away from my routine there has completely thrown me off and made me feel like an outsider again. It was kind of sad to walk into my room and see a space that I had nested in filled with someone else's belongings. But I am so glad they were Eva's and not some Craigslist weirdo. I don't know if I will be back in Brooklyn come October, but I'm glad I have the option. I guess you could say the same about this whole egg process. I don't know if I will definitely need them, but I am so, so glad to know they're there, all 14 of them!

Yep, they got 14 today. I went into their facility in Mineola at 7 am, was given anesthesia at 8, and done by 8:30. Again, modern medicine astounds, especially because that was my first time being given anesthesia. One second I'm on a table with my legs in the air (in a position, it must be said, I never want to be in again) and the next a nurse is saying, "Katrina, Katrina wake up, take some deep breaths for me." Once I had opened my eyes a little, the nurse went and got my mom, and she sat with me while I woke up some more.

I don't know what it is, but drugs that usually send people into very lethargic states just make me run my mouth like an absolute fool. "Go to sleep, aren't you tired?" my mom asked.

"Look at these decorations!" I remember saying. "They're nice! Every nurse's station I've seen lately has all the same colors and stuff, but these are like, they're really nice!"
"Yeah... they're nice...." my mom said.

They were paper flowers hanging on string from the ceiling.

"Okay, we got 14 eggs!" my nurse came over and told me. "You did great!" A giant wave of relief washed over me.

Later, as we were eating soup in Panera, my mom laughed and looked at me. "You know you told the nurse you wanted to name all your eggs, right?" I did? I had not remembered that. I asked what the nurse said. "She said, 'well THAT'S one I haven't heard before," my mom answered. "You also kept sticking out your tongue and showing me the scar from your tongue ring."

Then I went home, slept for six hours and dreamt I was a hobo riding a freight train, woke up and watched American Idol (JACOB IS GONE, FINALLY. Also, a text from Jenna: "2011 will go down as the year you had the hodge and actually cared about American Idol.") And here I am. Tomorrow is my bone marrow biopsy, and I wish more than anything they'd put me full out again tomorrow, but I think I'm getting that "twilight" anesthesia. Can't wait to hear what I say coming out of that one tomorrow! If it's good, I'll report back.

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