Thursday, July 21, 2011

My resolve has melted

Not permanently, but there is literally nothing that won't turn to liquid in the heat wave we've been having.

I feel really down today. I have chemo in 43 minutes, and I can't even bring myself to get out of bed to brush my teeth. A few bad things, ranging from disappointing to actually tragic, have happened to me and people I love in the past couple weeks, and right now the act of staying positive feels as daunting as running a marathon barefoot with no water.

A friend's younger brother was killed in a car crash yesterday, and I can't stop crying when I think about it and his family and how much pain they must be in.

Everything feels surreal and extremely sharp simultaneously at this moment.


1 comment:

  1. Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's the tiny little voice at the end of the day that tells you that you'll try again tomorrow. I read this somewhere--I forget where--and it's true.
    Thinking warm thoughts of you.

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