Cancer: the best joke to ever happen to me.

Two things happened this weekend--I saw 50/50 with my parents, and I visited New Paltz, and now I'm gonna tell you about them.

1. Seeing 50/50 whilst being treated for cancer was like setting the crown jewel in the tiara of dark humor that I like to put on when I wake up each morning. I just find it more than coincidental that a movie like that came out in the midst of my treatment, and I'm trying to figure out what the universe is trying to tell me by timing it like that. I went in knowing I would relate (the hair buzzing scene in the previews was enough to prove that), knowing I would laugh, and knowing I would cry. All three happened plentifully. Especially the last part (for my mom, over a tuna melt, in the diner, an hour afterward, which made me kind of regret making her see it.)

There's also a good article in the NYT called "Laughing at the Big C" which is pretty interesting.

There's a good discussion in the comments about whether or not you can generally say "Cancer is funny," and I bet you know which side I'd take. I just think I'd be in a really, really bad place if I didn't see the absurdity in everything that has happened in the past few months. Actually, that implies that I've chosen to laugh about it, whereas the actual situation is that it is virtually impossible for me not to. Using humor as a coping/defense mechanism has been something I've done for a while now, and it just so happens cancer is not excluded.

Second thing: Jenna and I ventured up to New Paltz for a night to visit her friend from college, Meg. We sat in traffic for 3 hours in New Jersey (and when I say "sat in traffic" I mean we sang along to Taylor Swift and I made Jenna cry by simply recounting 50/50), but finally arrived at Meg's in the afternoon. She lives in Wallkill, which is about 6 miles out of New Paltz, in a cottage on a horse farm owned by the original drummer from Skid Row (who Meg said generally eschews clothing except for boxer briefs on most occasions.) It was one of the most beautiful places I've ever spent a night. So peaceful compared with the crowds and traffic lacing the streets of New Paltz, and a virtual meditation zone compared to Brooklyn. We didn't venture into New Paltz until after dark, when the college kids began coming out of their dorms for debauchery. The past couple times I've visited New Paltz, I was all, "Oh man I miss it here!" and "It's so great to be back in this mind set, even for the day!" but this weekend I was just looking at the college kids and pondering, not even reminiscing, but pondering what it would be like to feel that way again. What it would be like to have my main source of anxiety stem from procrastination or to have my parents backing me financially.

Ok that last one was a joke since I'm freeloading all over the place right now, but in all honesty, I just could not relate, and it made me feel really estranged from New Paltz for the first time since graduation. I felt like I'd finally outgrown it. It made me a little sad, but it's not as if I want to go back to a time like that. I mean, what I wore in college alone is enough to make me not want to go back.

I'm currently on hold with my doctor's office to set up a time to remove my port. I've wanted that from the minute it was put in, so this is pretty satisfying for me. I mean, I think it will be satisfying, if I ever get off hold.